'Rewarding' teenagers for good behavior and expected behavior?
Topic: 'Rewarding' teenagers for good behavior and expected behavior?
December 12, 2019 / By Bartholomew Question:
I'm curious as to what you all think about this (and if you know of any psychologists who have studied this)--
My step-brother (20 years old) is a recovering drug addict who has been fully supported by his parents, even though he's abused that--five full (and very expensive) stints in rehab; pawning the TV and computer given to him by his parents for drug money; using the rent checks they give him for drugs; etc. He's still smoking pot, but he seems to have (at least temporarily) stayed away from the harder stuff.
My dad thinks that he responds well to 'rewards'--for example, he said that if my step-brother keeps his new apartment clean and goes to his classes (he's now in college) then they will give him a Blackberry (and similar stuff like that), even though he's abused those gifts in the past.
Do you think that teenagers should be rewarded for behavior that is not just 'good,' but also what is expected for normal, functioning people? Do you think that this sort of system conveys to the teenager that they should be praised for behaving in a way that is expected of them by any standard, or do you think the reward system works in this case?
FYI: He's been living on his own for a couple of months now. I don't mean to say that doing 'normal' things (keeping an apartment clean, being somewhat responsible) is easy for him, and I know this isn't specific to teenagers. I'm not saying there's a right or wrong answer--I'm just curious to know what people think.
Best Answers: 'Rewarding' teenagers for good behavior and expected behavior?
Zavanna | 2 days ago
For something like a recovering drug addict, I think that's really good, but for something dumb like studying or not trying pot is stupid to reward gifts because teenagers will just take advantage of that.
👍 232 | 👎 2
Did you like the answer? 'Rewarding' teenagers for good behavior and expected behavior?
Share with your friends
People aren't all the same...people have problems with different things and they need to be helped. Drug addiction is a very serious problem, just as alcoholism is. You can't just say "normal people do this so you have to do this too". Regardless of age, that won't work and if you think it will, you're incredibly dense. People with drug addiction need therapy and need support and need to be motivated to push passed their urges. If that means getting a reward for a week clean, a month clean, a year clean or a reward for getting back into a *normal* daily routine, then so be it. Whatever helps them get their life back on track. He's your step brother...you should want what's best for him, no matter how he gets to that point. And you should be supporting his efforts mentally and emotionally...not picking apart the way your parents choose to help him along.
And rewards for good behavior and expected behavior aren't just for teens, nor are they just for addiction problems. How do you think that good and/or expected behavior was learned? From an early age by positive reinforcement of some kind. If a little kid was told to say "please" and "thank you" and then when they did, they didn't get rewarded by a "good job!" or a treat, they wouldn't have continued the behavior and the teens of this generation wold be more disrespectful than ever. If kids weren't, in some way, reinforced for picking up after themselves, they wouldn't have continued on with that behavior and the teens of this generation would be bigger piggies than they already are.
Positive reinforcement, whether it be a "well done!" or a reward of some kind is needed in order to motivate and keep a certain behavior going until that SPECIFIC person is ready to go on without it. Don't think that all people are the same because they're not...they're ready to go off of reinforcement systems in their own time.
👍 100 | 👎 1
For him yes, that works. But for some teenager who just decided to take the garbage out I hardly think they are entitled to anything. For your step-brother... whatever keeps him away from harder drugs. Pot isn't going to kill him anymore than the excessive drinking most college guys do, at least if he stays away from the harder stuff it is having some impact.
👍 99 | 👎 0
I don't think it's fair at all to those of us who do what we're expected anyways...
I get straight A's and get nothing.. while if a kid that usually gets D's gets a B they'll get a hundred dollars.
👍 98 | 👎 -1
Originally Answered: do dogs behavior really reflect the owners behavior?
In some cases yes. Certain people pick certain breeds that fit their personalities and behavior.
After you have spend some time with a dog, the dog will start to reflect the owner simply because you are a reflection of your environment and your environment is a reflection of you.
And to the person that answer "it all in how you raise a dog", please go study genetics, dog behavior and then we can talk!
Hope I helped!